I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
