Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
