I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
