I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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