i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
