u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
