I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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