why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
