Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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