every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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