im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
