I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize