yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
