well I can't set my house on fire every night
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize