I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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