Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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