If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
