The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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