tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize