So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she told me i tasted like america
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just pee around me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
