Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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