I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
