Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
