just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
