yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
