you win again, gameday.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize