god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just want nice things and good sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
