I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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