who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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