If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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