he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
