I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize