there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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