So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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