i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
