I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
