Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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