She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
