chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
