i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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