Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
