I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
