No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
