apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
