I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
