I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize