he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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