Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
