is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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