Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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