its not stalking. its research.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize