Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
