U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
