Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
