His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
accomplished twins. life is a go
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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