who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
