im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
