i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
