She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
