just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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