Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
