I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
