you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
