She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
