So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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