And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
