How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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