i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
