Are we in a gay sports bar?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
