i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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