dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
