apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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