How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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