i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
