those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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