garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
