do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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