i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
There was a lot of him and a little penis
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
