i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
